What is something you wish you could tell your 20-year-old self?

From a young age, I learned how to fight, even as a baby I had challenges to face. Each parent had an addiction and their traumas, so life became a complex journey. And as I unwove myself from complex situations, I started to come alive inside again. For years, I didn’t tell my stories so those involved didn’t get unfair judgement. But that carry was heavy and it got heavier the longer I kept it inside. I started offloading it by giving it back to the individuals who handed that trauma to me in the beginning of my journey.

My Dad, dealt with trauma throughout his life. Self medicated with alcohol when my parents got married and it became dangerous because he fell farther down the dark hole. My Mom left when she saw that other men weren’t in his state. He got sober, joined a church and remarried. He has been sober ever since.

My Mom, she is a more complicated story. The trust has been broken over the years. When I was SAed when I was 17, he went to trial. They found him guilty. He was sentenced. She went down to the courthouse and released him. She said it was my fault the situation happened. Countless situations where she sided with sexual predators/bad people in incidences with myself and my siblings led to more fights between me and her and a deep betrayal and distrust.

This is just a small amount that happened. It goes so much more deeper.

When I was 20, I was pregnant and my daughter died on her due date, I had a natural birth. But she was inside me after passing for 24 hours. The Father’s Grandmother screamed at the top of her lungs that I was at fault. Following her death, I lost my Grandparents, and another child. I’m thankful that my younger self kept fighting no matter what happened because now i get to enjoy a peaceful life where I am thriving. I am now able to give myself the chance to be the best version of myself.